● READY — readiness probe

{
  "status": "READY",
  "probe": "HTTP GET /status",
  "service": "ayush-tiwari-cv",
  "version": "1.0.1",
  "built_at": "2026-05-25T04:04:08.783Z",
  "environment": "production",
  "region": "github-pages-us-east-1",
  "message": "All dependencies nominal. Resume is downloadable. Dad jokes within SLO.",
  "ownership": {
    "team": "platform-engineering-of-one",
    "oncall": "ayush@dbcelm.github.io",
    "runbook": "kubectl get events, then coffee"
  },
  "dependencies": [
    {
      "name": "github-pages",
      "status": "HEALTHY",
      "version": "latest",
      "note": "Static assets. Boring in the best way."
    },
    {
      "name": "github-actions",
      "status": "HEALTHY",
      "note": "Tags on push. Deploys after security. Civilization."
    },
    {
      "name": "astro",
      "status": "HEALTHY",
      "note": "Builds this page so you can read this joke."
    },
    {
      "name": "kubernetes.experience",
      "status": "HEALTHY",
      "replicas": "700+ clusters operated",
      "note": "Emotionally available for multi-tenant questions."
    },
    {
      "name": "terraform",
      "status": "HEALTHY",
      "note": "State is remote. Feelings are local."
    },
    {
      "name": "coffee-supply-chain",
      "status": "DEGRADED",
      "reason": "afternoon slump",
      "mitigation": "espresso rollout in progress"
    },
    {
      "name": "friday-deploy-policy",
      "status": "DENIED",
      "http_code": 451,
      "note": "Come back Monday. Or don't. I'm not your manager."
    }
  ],
  "slos": [
    {
      "name": "site_availability",
      "target": "99.9%",
      "actual": "100% (it is static HTML)",
      "error_budget": "infinite until someone adds a database"
    },
    {
      "name": "recruiter_response_time",
      "target": "48h",
      "actual": "calendar-dependent",
      "error_budget": "rechargeable via coffee"
    },
    {
      "name": "dad_jokes_per_deploy",
      "target": ">= 1",
      "actual": "exceeded",
      "error_budget": "none remaining. Sorry."
    },
    {
      "name": "mean_time_to_coffee",
      "target": "PT5M",
      "actual": "PT4M30S",
      "error_budget": "healthy"
    }
  ],
  "capacity": {
    "years_experience": "10+",
    "nodes_managed": "1500+",
    "clusters_operated": "700+",
    "cloud_savings_usd": "250K+",
    "patience": "HIGH",
    "tolerance_for_manual_deploys": "LOW"
  },
  "incidents": [
    {
      "id": "INC-404",
      "title": "Career path not found",
      "status": "resolved",
      "resolution": "Redeployed as DevOps. 200 OK ever since."
    },
    {
      "id": "INC-503",
      "title": "Meeting overload",
      "status": "mitigated",
      "resolution": "Scaled calendar horizontally. Added async updates."
    },
    {
      "id": "INC-418",
      "title": "I am a teapot",
      "status": "closed",
      "resolution": "RFC 2324 acknowledged. Brewed coffee instead."
    }
  ],
  "pods": [
    {
      "name": "cv-frontend-0",
      "ready": "1/1",
      "status": "Running",
      "restarts": 0,
      "age": "1.0.1"
    },
    {
      "name": "terraform-plan-7f3a",
      "ready": "0/1",
      "status": "Completed",
      "restarts": 12,
      "age": "2y",
      "note": "Eventually converged."
    },
    {
      "name": "oncall-brain-0",
      "ready": "1/1",
      "status": "Running",
      "restarts": "too many",
      "age": "10y"
    },
    {
      "name": "imposter-syndrome-6d9c",
      "ready": "0/1",
      "status": "CrashLoopBackOff",
      "restarts": 999,
      "age": "forever",
      "note": "HPA not configured. Self-doubt scales automatically."
    },
    {
      "name": "coffee-maker-0",
      "ready": "1/1",
      "status": "Running",
      "restarts": 1,
      "age": "today"
    }
  ],
  "events": [
    {
      "type": "Normal",
      "reason": "Pulled",
      "object": "image://ayush-tiwari:latest",
      "message": "Successfully pulled career highlights."
    },
    {
      "type": "Warning",
      "reason": "FailedScheduling",
      "object": "meeting/standup-15m",
      "message": "Insufficient focus. Rescheduled to async."
    },
    {
      "type": "Normal",
      "reason": "Scaled",
      "object": "deployment/platform-skills",
      "message": "HPA added Kubernetes, Terraform, and ArgoCD."
    }
  ],
  "live_metrics_note": "Counters below are fictional. Your monitoring stack is safe.",
  "hints": {
    "json": "/status.json",
    "liveness": "/health",
    "home": "/"
  }
}